my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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