I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
