There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
