Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
