The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
