Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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