Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
