another moral hangover. fuck.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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