Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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