what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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