i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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