i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
