No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
