jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
