No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
