I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
