covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
