he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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