everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
