Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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