yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
