my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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