If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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