drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm at about main and main street
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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