Me too!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
