Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
