the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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