Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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