Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
