Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
