Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
