Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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