It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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