Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I look better un-naked...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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