I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
