and i looked up. we had an audience...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
