Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
