yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
