yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
