and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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