I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
