check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just high enough for therapy.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
