READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
