I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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