8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
