Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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