And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
