Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
The power of my boobs compel you
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
