took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
