Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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