I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
