I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
