ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
